If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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