I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
