the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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