Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
