I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
