well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
