(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
