I skipped work to stalk him.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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