its not stalking. its research.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
God, I missed his penis.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
