So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
