and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
