In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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