Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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