i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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