theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
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