they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
