I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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