and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
