My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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