ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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