my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
