This dress was meant to end up on your floor
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
