I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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