dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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