I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
