She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
