Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
