Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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