Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just pee around me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
