theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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