My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh god it's open bar.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
