i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
