Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
