fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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