Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we're making bets on your personal life
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
