You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Houston, we have a blender
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
