From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
