what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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