it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
