Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
