I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
