...so i touched it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize