she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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