broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
