Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
