My friends, they love my intelligence
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
