I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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