i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
