Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
