I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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