WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
