it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was CRYING into my vagina
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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