i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
