I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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