mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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