Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
