is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
