Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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