Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
