I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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