its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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