She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize