just come out here and I will go home with you...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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