Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
