Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
